In Honor of Earth Day

I'm a few days late, but only because I just returned from attending as many Earth Day festivals as humanly possible. I decided to get to each of them on a bike (wouldn't it be hypocritical to drive there using any gas-powered vehicle???). I recycled all of my trash, and even tried to keep my breathing to a minimum (carbon dioxide is bad for the earth, right?) It was fun and worthwhile to be around like-minded people for a change.

Many of my conversations seemed to focus on the Galapagos Islands for some reason. Apparently there is a new found interest in the birthplace of evolution, and thus mankind. The islands' untouched pristine beauty has sparked a fury in earth lover passion and interest. I suppose I'm still a capitalist at heart, in spite of my new love affair with Mother Earth. My grand business idea is to build a Walmart on one of the islands. Where do current visitors buy their bottled water? Don't you think they would like to immediately develop their digital photos of that Komodo dragon attacking the turtle? Any need for toiletries when island hopping? I think so, and where better to accomplish all of these essentials than Walmart? I hope some of the powers that be can run with this idea. I'll only demand a small percentage of the profits.

Environmentally Friendly

For obvious reasons I'm not given too many responsibilities on a daily basis in our home. However, I do have two important ones: dish washer and Costco shopper. Cindy cooks, I wash the dishes. I also go to Costco 2-3 times/week (is there any better deal in town then $1.50 polish sausage and drink?? I think not!! It's filling, mostly edible, and the aftertaste remains for at least a day and a half).

A few weeks ago I was instructed to purchase some dish washing detergent at Costco. One reason I like Costco is the lack of choices - there's only a few to choose from of most items so the potential to choose incorrectly is drastically reduced. This particular shopping adventure, there were only two different detergents I was mulling over. One was a little cheaper in a fancy green box. The other was more expensive but in a dull, gray box with the words "Environmentally Friendly" emblazoned across the top. Those who know me realize I'm not afraid to slap down some extra cash to help out Mother Earth. However, I've never experienced worse buyer's remorse. Each day as I empty the dishwasher I spend an extra 10 minutes wiping out the soap crystals from each and every glass. But it is comforting knowing that our world will last a few minutes longer because I'm a friendly inhabitant.

A word of caution: when the words "Environmentally Friendly" or something similar are used in any advertisement, you can bet on these two truths:

1. The item will be ridiculously expensive.

2. The item will either lack quality or won't do the job as effectively or efficiently as it's "Environmentally Unfriendly" competitor.

Take the hybrid car. Yes, the gas mileage is great in stop-and-go traffic. Yes, you can sneak up on either a deer or cyclist from behind and run them down without problem because neither will be able to hear your stealth approach. Finally, with it's partial zero emissions, the hybrid has the Green Prince's stamp of approval. However, there is a $4-6K premium for a hybrid. You'd have to drive lots of miles over lots of years to make up the difference at the gas pump.

I haven't researched home solar panels recently, so this is a shot in the dark. But haven't you heard a homeowner say something like this: "Yeah, I just bought me some solar panels for my house. Those babies pay for themselves in 10 to 14 years." At some point we may stay in a house more than 5 years, but not anytime soon. I'm sure it is very satisfying knowing that your $15k purchase will end up saving a dozen polar bears, one of which could rip your heart out with one swipe of its claw. But they are really cute, aren't they?

Be responsible, don't waste, but please don't buy something just because it is "Environmentally Friendly". It's just not worth the aggravation.

Best Thing Overheard on Easter

The best things about Easter are as follows:

1. Reeses peanut butter eggs.
2. Cadbury eggs.
3. Peeps

Honorable Mention: Jesus

Things that Disturb Me

A few things that disturb me currently:

1. I'm starting to develop old man eyebrows. If they are out of control at 38, what the hell will they look like when I'm Andy Rooney's age???

2. Last week, Al Gore, the Green Prince, met with leaders of the LDS Church. Apparently the topic of discussion was not the Gore family genealogy line.

3. Upon looking at my teeth and TMJ misalignment, the dentist remarked, "You got to be kidding me!?!" It's just not something you'd like to hear from either a dentist or a physician.

4. I'm slightly disturbed by many Americans and some of our leaders who seem to have a love affair with Europe. Either they are desperate for Europe's approval, or want us to be more like our sophisticated friends to the east. I guess I don't mind American exceptionalism. I kind of liked growing up knowing that I lived in the best country in the world.

5. At this point in my life I should be able to make it through at least one session of General Conference without falling asleep. No such luck. I even attended the last session at the conference center and couldn't make it without a nap. It is frustrating and disturbing all at the same time.

It's OK to Lie - Sometimes

I've decided there are two instances when the LDS community grants carte blanche on dishonesty. First is today, April Fool's Day. All of a sudden any lie under the sun is OK, if not encouraged. Cindy and her friend played a cruel hoax on their 9 year old daughters this morning. A letter from Midway Elementary somehow ended up in email inboxes stating the number of school days was miscalculated. As a result, the students would have to attend school every Saturday the remainder of the school year to make up the difference. The two pure, innocent girls promptly announced this bad news to the rest of their class. Ms. Cummings, the girls' teacher, was also part of this secret combination and played along. Jessica found out about the dirty scheme after school, so she must return tomorrow and fess up to the entire class. I've been looking up local psychologists this evening - just preparing for an interesting, expensive future.

The second instance when lying is OK occurs the week leading up to a change in a ward's bishopric. Speculation runs rampant about who might be the unlucky fellow. The next bishop might be asked by a dozen different people if he is their new judge in Israel. All he can really do is deny any knowledge and hope they don't ask again. So for the first couple of days before he gets this important calling, the unfortunate man is forced to lie repeatedly. It doesn't seem right, but that's the way it is.

So when asked if you are completely honest with those around you, it might be best to ask for further clarification - "Does that include April Fool's Day? Does it matter if I was a bishop previously?"

A Travesty of Epic Proportions

We've been told by the administration's words and actions that energy, healthcare, and education are the reasons we are in this depression, and reforming each of these will get us out. Apparently we don't have enough college graduates. Don't you think all of those greedy Wall Street guys who got us into this mess have college degrees? Probably most from Ivy League schools? What happened? Doesn't a college degree guarantee smarts, happiness, and a lifelong smile?

When our kids were first born Cindy and I decided we would start saving for their college expenses. Our plan - encourage them to get good grades, support them emotionally and financially as long as they are exerting a good effort, and then sit back and let them support us in our old age. Not attending college would not be an option.

Somewhere between then and now our attitude changed. If our kids somehow don't win the lottery or a multimillion dollar lawsuit, our hope is that they are happy with whatever they choose. If they decide to start their own business instead of going to college, they will have our full support. If they decide to work at Krispy Kreme or Starbucks, more power to them. For some people, attending college and incurring 100k in debt may not be the best road to happiness.

This opinion was strengthened today as I heard a report about the escalating costs of college tuition. In spite of the current recession, many colleges are increasing tuition and subsequently professors' salaries. The average salary of a university professor now stands at $90,000. Not bad for somebody who spends 8 hours/week on average teaching in the class. I realize there are other responsibilities besides indoctrinating the young whipper snappers on the beauties of communism - but really, aren't they really paid for what they do in the classroom? Not a bad gig! I think it is shameful and disgusting! Don't many universities get funds from the government? Would this make the government part owners, or part employers, of these professors? I really think they should give back part of their salaries. Either that or they should be required to pay 90% taxes for their excessive salaries. When it comes right down to it, we need to be fair - and that pay structure for that small amount of work just isn't fair. I just don't think I will be able to contribute to a broken system. Until professor salaries are reduced to a reasonable level, they aren't getting any of my money. I only hope the minimum wage will be at a decent level when my kids graduate from high school.

Ought to vs. Have to

Last week after a long 4 hour workday I was told by my wife and 9 year old daughter that I had to attend parent teacher conference for her that evening. Cindy was doing her own conferences at a different school, so it was left to me to be the responsible one. I didn't want to go. I especially didn't want to go because I was told I had to attend. If Jessica, our daughter, was a problem student, or was an idiot, I could understand why conversing with her teacher would be worthwhile. She's neither; thus, my stubborn stance. As usually happens, though, I gave in to appease the ladies in my life. It turned out to be 15 minutes of my life I will never get back.

It actually wasn't all that bad, but it made me think about stuff that I "have to" do. At this point in my life, I get more and more annoyed with the "have to's". Church meetings that should be 30 minutes but last 90; work conference calls that have to be weekly but should be monthly; school meetings that I have to attend or the teacher and principal will come to my house and kick me in the head. All of these and others should be things I ought to do, but not necessarily have to do.

Yesterday was "Earth Hour", a time when earth's residents were told they should turn off all household and business lights to save energy and show a worldwide unity of concern for the planet. I realize I "ought to" do better at saving energy by turning off lights and walking more. But everywhere I turn all I see and hear are advertisements telling me how evil I am if I don't do more. I need to be better at tracking how much I can save by being green, kind of like the United Nations. In a statement released before Earth Hour, the U.N. predicted they would save $81,000 by going dark at their complex for 60 minutes. A short time later, that amount decreased to $24,000. Finally, a more accurate prediction was released at a dollar amount of savings achieved by turning off all of the lights at the U.N. building - $102. If at first you can't be honest, make sure you are close on the third attempt.

As a family, we decided we "have to" provide a balance to all of this energy savings. We decided to turn on every light in our house, opened up every window, turned up the thermostat to 85 degrees, turned every appliance on that we could think of (dishwasher, washing machine, dryer, bread maker, oven, blender, mixer, coffee maker ), and turned on every water faucet for good measure. We then built a bonfire in the backyard and had both of our cars idling for the full hour. It felt so good to achieve complete family unity. We estimate that this hour cost us at least an additional $102 on our April power bill. I'm not going to predict more than that, I'm just not into exaggeration.

My point with this story is - right now we are told we "ought to" be doing, or not doing, stuff to help save the planet. Is it out of the realm of possibility these "ought to's" will turn into "have to's"? I hope not, but at this point I wouldn't put anything past the U.N. and some of our leaders. Isn't the dream of America all about keeping your thermostat at 80 degrees just because you can? Please don't take that away from me.

Is It Too Much To Ask?

With all of the delinquent children running around these days some people have suggested that potential parents be required to attend parenting classes before they actually pop that bun in the oven. I'm not one for over-regulating, but I believe there is a more pressing matter that should be considered. It concerns SUVs/trucks and parking. I think parking lessons should be required of everybody before they are allowed to purchase a Hummer, Excursion, Suburban, Expedition, extended cab truck, or any similar vehicle.

How many times have you been driving through a crowded parking lot and found one open spot? Unfortunately the spot is next to an Excursion that happens to be taking up half of your space. If the driver actually knew how to park their vehicle within the lines (granted, it would be tight) you could squeeze your Smartcar in. But no, they selfishly parked at an angle that prevents anybody to park next to them. So you end up parking 3 blocks down the street and get in some unwanted exercise.

I'm not saying I could park any better. But most of these people act like they don't even care. It might take an 18-point turn to get the behemoth straight before going into the space. But I think that is the least they could do for the rest of us. These large SUV owners have single-handedly brought our globe to the verge of destruction with their gigantic carbon footprints. At the very least they could learn how to park properly before they purchase the beast. Is that too much to ask? I don't think so.

Things that Need to Go Away - Now

1. Any commercials or billboards that use the words "bailout" or "stimulus". Why would you base your ad campaign on a word that many Americans bristle at?

2. All of the "Got Milk?" knockoffs. The original was unique and interesting. At this point, every other attempt is weak and mindless. Got Rocks? Got Dirt? Got Creativity???

3. The billboards advertising liposuction and other procedures that show a skinny lady in a bikini. Nothing screams for truth in advertising more than these do. Neither before nor after my procedure did I ever dream to look that good in a bikini.

4. Any video or photo image of Nancy Pelosi. Each time she appears on screen my wife Cindy has a brain seizure. We are frequent enough visitors to the ER because of these "Pelosi seizures" that it might become an actual diagnosis. Also, the thought of universal healthcare paid for by my wealthy friends is sounding better each day.

Pets and the Freaks that Own Them

I am not a lover of animals. I don't want them to suffer, but I personally don't need them in my life. I think horses are cool but expensive. Cats are useless. Dogs for the most part aren't bad when cared for by somebody else. They just need to be kept in appropriate areas, like a cage, fence, house, etc.

Everything changes when dog owners are in public places with their delightful companions. I'm fairly certain dogs can sense that I don't like them. Why else would the following scene happen dozens of times?

While out enjoying nature and that wonderful warming that the earth is currently going through, off in the distance a dog approaches. The dog's owner is further away, strangely holding a leash that is not connected to the dog. The beast races towards me, barking, growling, drooling; angry eyes and all. Usually my path is blocked by the half-bear, half-wolf. The dog owner shows up a minute letter, expressing shock and surprise that their angel dog could somehow cause concern for anybody. "Oh, Snaggletooth won't hurt you. He's really quite friendly and harmless. I think he likes you." As I struggle to move past the beast, my cussing is drowned out by the incessant barking.

For years I've wondered what I could do or say to let the freak know he needs to be more responsible with his little angel/beast. Is it too much to expect dog owners to keep their dogs under control out in public? I keep a leash on my kids when we all leave the house. Why can't they do the same with their dogs?

I decided to attend one of those home Taser parties that are all the rage with the neighborhood ladies. Sure, I was the only male in attendance. Yes, they all intend to use their Tasers on would-be human attackers. Why can't I use my Taser on the next pit bull that gets in front of me while jogging? I'm sure it would stun the dog enough to allow me to get away without wetting myself - and might teach the freak owner to be more responsible. I don't think a stun would kill some of the larger breeds. If I happen to be attacked by a poodle next time out - well, that's a chance I may have to take.

I take it back - I was wrong

One of my previous posts went on and on about the hypocrisy involved in the whole global warming hoax. I've decided that I was wrong. I completely believe in global warming. In fact, I'd like to hasten its arrival. Can't we speed up the process a bit?

This is my first full winter spent in Northern Utah in over 10 years. I enjoy snow. I used to enjoy skiing. We took the kids ice skating for the first time this week. Snow makes everything beautiful and clean. But it is cold - way too cold. In fact, the past 10 years the global trend has been that of cooling. So, if in fact, human-caused carbon emissions are at fault for global warming/climate change, I say bring it on. Enough of this green crap, let's go grey!!! I've started letting my car idle wherever I go. I consistently have 15 lights on in our house at any one time (that might be 15 polar bears I have personally killed this week). We've decided to go on a meat-only diet for the next year. I don't own any factories personally, but I'm hoping they will increase emissions exponentially.

Honestly, what would be so bad about "summer all the time"? As a country, we might lose California and Florida to the oceans. But if something wacky happens in the nation, it is usually in one of the two. I'll think we could do alright without them. Just think how great Montana would be if it were 70 degrees in the winter. So please, join with me in the new "grey movement". Let's hasten global warming and forever rid ourselves of 6 months of snow and winter. You know you'd like it.

Lincoln - Right Here, Right Now!!!

The past month President Obama has been trying to channel the spirit and essence of one of America's greatest leaders, Abraham Lincoln. Of course, they both hail from Illinois. Obama rode a train to his inauguration, just like Lincoln. He even used the same Bible Lincoln did to take the oath. And finally today, on Lincoln's birthday, Obama helped to reopen the theatre where Lincoln was murdered. Many people are caught up in the similarities between the two men. In fact, if you squint hard enough, they almost look like each other (except for the lack of beard, and, oh yeah, one of them is black).

Like Lincoln, President Obama is trying to heal the wounds of a divided nation, and honestly, I hope he succeeds. A few days ago I came across a quote from Lincoln. I wish that Obama would strive to emulate his hero more in the following area:

Property is the fruit of labor. Property is desirable, is a positive good in the world. That some should be rich shows that others may become rich and hence is just encouragement to industry and enterprise. Let not him who is houseless pull down the house of another, but let him work diligently to build one for himself, thus by example assuring that his own shall be safe from violence...I take it that it is best for all to leave each man free to acquire property as fast as he can. Some will get wealthy. I don't believe in a law to prevent a man from getting rich; it would do more harm than good. (Quoted from The Freeman: Ideas on Liberty, May 1955, p. 7.)


Much was made during the campaign about Obama's "spreading the wealth around" comment to Joe the Plumber. Somehow it has become a bad thing to acquire wealth. It is bad to be successful. People that achieve are just being selfish. I've never made a lot of money - my wife will wholeheartedly agree with that. But someday I would like to. Is that bad? If your boss came to you and said, "Nick, if you work just a little bit harder and put in a few more hours a week, I will increase your salary to $250K." Do you think you would turn that offer down? Would you say, "No, that's not for me. I don't want to have to pay more taxes and be considered a selfish bastard."

Wouldn't you jump on that offer? Just think of the good you could do with all that extra income - for your kids, for your church, for the needy. But apparently our government knows a better way to spend that money. I wish they would have consulted with Lincoln.

Lessons learned from....Congress

Common sense tells us that when times are bad it is best to tighten your belt, tighten your budget, and be smart with your money. Our representatives, including our President, have told us that we all must sacrifice to get through this period of turmoil. Businesses stop hiring, stop building, stop growing, with the hope that they can survive the downturn. But one business is going against the grain - the federal government.

If reports are correct, Nancy Pelosi walked down the aisle of the House asking her fellow representatives what they wanted out of the stimulus bill. There has been much debate about whether most of the projects in the bill will actually "stimulate" the economy. Or are they pet projects to make special interest groups and their loyal representatives happy? Regardless, isn't that a disturbing image? The 3rd most powerful person in America running up and down the aisle doing her best Santa Clause impersonation - "What do you want, Timmy? What can I get for you, Sally?" Almost a trillion dollars of gifts for all the good boys and girls. Christmas has come 10 months early for the federal government.

As a family we decided what is good for the government is good for us. We had a family meeting of sorts. I ran through the house asking each family member what they wanted. Jamison wants a new bike, a Wii, and a maid who will do his chores for him. Jessica wants a grand piano, a tennis racket, and braces. Cindy wants a BMW 6 series and a trip to Australia. I'll just take a new scooter (life has been empty since I sold the yellow one). We don't have the money currently. We can't print the necessary money like the government will. But we do have a couple of credit cards and thousands in a home equity line of credit that is just itching to be spent.

Why not? Somebody somewhere will help us out. We're the victims in this whole mess. We just want to do our part in keeping our consumer-driven economy rolling. Please join us in our efforts to be like the government. It sounds kind of fun, doesn't it?

The Problem with Politics

It is obviously difficult to narrow the problem with politics down to one major issue. All politicians seem to speak from the same script. Each of them arrives in Washington saying they are different and won't stand for "politics as usual". However, they seem to quickly discover that in order to get anything accomplished they must play the game. From my viewpoint, they seem to be more interested in job security and their eventual re-election than they are the long-term stability and success of the nation.

Here are a few problems I can see with politics:

• power corrupts
• money influences votes
• many stay in Washington way too long to care about the average citizen
• many politicians believe that government can accomplish things better than individuals

I'm sure you can add many of your own complaints. Regardless of which side of the fence you sit on, politicians give us many reasons to dislike or distrust them. In my opinion, one problem rises above them all. It undermines the entire system and is contrary to everything logical. The problem: whichever party is not in control desperately wants the country to fail. The economy, the war, social programs - it doesn't matter. If their party is not in charge, something is very wrong and needs to change. Both Republicans and Democrats are equally guilty. But why? Because if the country is struggling and people are hurting, they can scream loud and proud, "We told you so!!! Our plan is better. We can save the country - just give us a chance." Then when they gain control, the other party desires nothing but bad to happen to the nation.

Maybe it's just me. It doesn't seem healthy for half of a nation's elected officials to wish for bad things to happen to that nation. Wouldn't it be better if every elected leader truly wanted what was best for the country, not for themselves or their party? Many politicians just can't seem to look past partisan idiocy.

I'm sure there are many solutions to this and other political problems. I can only come up with one after hours of brainstorming with my pretend friend Timmy. Term limits. Let these distinguished leaders go to Washington, play fair from the beginning, learn how to work well with others, bust their tails, and hope like crazy the nation is in a better condition then when they arrived. Then move on with their lives. Go be productive members of society, not career politicians. Is that too much to ask?

Taxes? Who Needs 'Em?

I don't know of anybody who loves to pay taxes. Kind of like WalMart, paying taxes is a necessary evil. However, with last year's campaign and election, Americans voiced their collective opinion: higher taxes might be a good thing. How else are we going to pay for all of the new government programs and agencies necessary to make our lives better and more complete? Our new Vice President even told us that paying taxes was a way to show our patriotism.

"It's time to be patriotic...time to jump in, time to be part of the deal, time to help get America out of the rut."

The past few weeks have taught us one thing: paying taxes is a good thing for other people to do. There have been three high profile appointees for Cabinet positions who had "minor" problems with paying all of their taxes the past few years. Two of these appointees withered under the spotlight of public scrutiny and decided to withdraw their names from consideration. One of them, Tom Daschle, should have listened to his own speech from 11 years ago:

"Make no mistake, tax cheaters cheat us all, and the IRS should enforce our laws to the letter."

I tend to agree with the former senator. If everybody paid their fair share this country would be a great place to live. Better yet, if most of our elected officials actually lived by the same rules that ordinary citizens had to live by, the tax code and reams of government regulation would be reduced dramatically. The guy in charge of that tax code, amongst other things, is Timothy Geithner, another tax cheat. But he happens to be the only person in America smart enough to guide us out of this financial chaos. All of those so-called geniuses being educated in our finest universities who aren't tax cheaters can't hold a candle to this guy. Finally, Nancy Killefer was set to become the Chief Performance Officer, a brand new position in the administration. Her role: "to make government more effective, more efficient, and more transparent". Apparently the transparency was too much for her as it was revealed she failed to pay property taxes. That's a shame.

I still haven't heard Vice President Biden publicly denounce any of these people for being "unpatriotic". Maybe another prominent democrat was right all along. John Edwards' entire campaign was based on there being "two Americas". Maybe he actually meant one America for politicians and the other America for the rest of us. I'm left to try to continue to cheat on my taxes while the rest of you dutifully pay yours. I am very impressionable that way. I'm only following their examples.

The Circle of Life

I'm still a young father who is learning on the go about parenting and life. I've also had many opportunities to work with the elderly in my career. I've discovered that my kids have much in common with their elderly counterparts. There's obviously an age that most kids grow out of certain behaviors. Likewise, as people age they rediscover what was lost years before. I can't explain why this "circle of life" happens. But I would like to know approximately at what age these transitions occur so I'll be able to enjoy the show.


Just a few examples:

1. They aren't aware they have food on their face during or after a meal.
2. They have no filter - if they think it, they say it.
3. Bodily noises from both ends are released with reckless abandon.
4. Most of their trousers have urine dribble stains.
5. They are completely oblivious to hangers out of the nose.
6. They can wear the same clothes for days without a care in the world.
7. Pureed food is the consistency of choice.
8. They end up in diapers whether they like it or not.
9. TV is the entertainment of choice between meals.
10. People communicating with them speak loudly, using hand gestures and exaggerated facial expressions.
11. Too often people call them stupid nicknames rather than their real name.

All of the above examples could aptly describe either a baby/kid or an elderly person. However, I have noticed one major difference between the two where the circle of life may have taken a detour: naps. Kids avoid them like the plague. Elderly folks somehow accomplish all of the above activities while napping. Maybe if kids were medicated as much as the elderly, they would enjoy naps, too. It's just an idea....

It's Easy to be a Hypocrite

I am not a proponent of global warming. I should get that out in the open. I think humans should be responsible and good to the planet. However, I don't believe that our selfish lifestyles are the lone reason for the 1 degree increase in global temperature over the past century. In fact, I'm not sure even the advocates of global warming truly believe what they are spouting. Why else would they change the name of the most destructive catastrophe in history to "global climate change"? Do you think earthquakes used to be called "ground shimmies" until scientists learned their actual destructive capacity? Maybe it is called climate change now because the earth hasn't been warming at the rate the computer models predicted. But I digress...

I think if one truly believes in global warming it is very difficult to avoid being a hypocrite. For years we have been told that driving our SUVs and drilling for oil and building refineries and factories that spew filth into the atmosphere have brought us to the brink of destruction. We are all at fault, some more than others. But every little thing we do that emits carbon into the atmosphere takes us closer to the edge.

So where does the hypocrisy come in? If you drive a car, you are contributing to global warming. You may feel good about that new hybrid you just purchased that costs an additional 5K and gets 10 mpg more than a regular car. However, hybrids emit partial zero emissions, which have to be somewhat above actual zero. At least some deadly carbon dioxide is getting into the atmosphere. You may be holding out for the Chevy Volt, that fancy new electric car GM will unveil next year. But how will you recharge your Volt? Where does that charge come from? Won't it likely come from a coal-powered plant? Or maybe from a nuclear plant, the cleanest of all energies? I know we all would like this power to come from wind or solar, but not yet - not by many years and many government subsidies. If you are required to leave your house for any reason (lets say for a job) and you want to be completely green, you better live close enough to ride a bike. Because any other form of transportation (even public) is going to emit evil carbon and you are contributing to global warming. Ride a bike, don't be a hypocrite.

What if you have a spouse and family who also like to leave the house occasionally and travel. You could hop on an airplane to some remote location that is all green and not damaged by the idiots of mankind. But wouldn't that airplane use jet fuel? And how would you get to the airport? Could the whole family get there safely on bikes? What about your luggage? So many questions, so close to hypocrisy.

Do you like to eat meat? If so, you might be contributing to global warming. The cattle industry is responsible for more deadly emissions than all of our cars combined. Maybe you are a vegan. All of those green vegetables you purchase at the store were transported there by a diesel truck. There was probably a tractor or some other piece of machinery involved in the farming process of those veggies. Probably your best eating option would be to clear some of your own land for a garden. But don't use any power tools to garden. That would be hypocritical.

I suppose I wouldn't be so annoyed by the whole global warming issue if those that spoke the loudest actually practiced what they preach. Al Gore's mansion in Tennessee, his private jet, and SUV have all been well-documented on the Internet. Governor Schwarzenegger commutes daily from LA to Sacramento in his private jet. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi demanded she have a private jet when elected as Speaker of the House. Each of these vocal advocates has told the rest of America numerous times we need to cut back on our evil lifestyles. I guess the warnings they unselfishly give to us are important enough to cancel our their carbon footprints.

Another annoyance I have concerns money. How many millions has Gore made off of global warming? I'm all for capitalism. Yeah capitalism!!! I guess I would listen closer if I believed he was preaching out of the goodness of his heart. The carbon offset industry has to be the biggest scam since Cutco knives came onto the scene. Any business that profits solely on people feeling guilty for living life has my admiration. Most of the people I'm aware of who are pursuing their mission or calling in life do so without much compensation. Maybe Gore is a new kind of humanitarian, perfect for this day of hope and change. Or maybe he's just a hypocrite.

Please let me live my life. I'll treat the earth with care and concern. But don't regulate my every decision. I don't need the government involved in every aspect of my life. I don't need some alarmist profiting from debatable information telling me how to live my life. Isn't good old common sense the best answer for most questions? Maybe it's just me...